My childhood was a really rough time for me that I can remember. From a young age I had problems and because of that I think I got resented by my family. They would go on holidays and be embarrassed to take me because of my behaviour and so I would have to stay home whilst other people looked after me.
At School it was very hard for me to fit in as I was very shy due to my childhood problems and this didn’t stop till I was at least 11-12 years old. Obviously, this became a problem as I was also getting bullied constantly through both primary and high school and as a result I didn’t want to go to school.
After leaving school, I went onto college which didn’t last and I ended up back at home after half an hour. I soon felt like the black sheep of my family and had an argument with my parents, which resulted in me moving in with my brother when I was aged 17. That’s when my life went downhill, and I started drinking every weekend and started to experiment with drugs. I started using drugs every weekend and this soon increased to using every day. As I started taking cocaine, the drinking stopped but I carried on with the drugs. I just felt like I was nothing without taking the substances., If I didn’t take them, I felt on edge, anxious, and like I had no confidence. The drugs seemed to solve that problem and gave me the totally opposite feeling.
I was moving from job to job just to try and pay for my addiction. I found myself gambling to try and raise the funds as well as stealing from family, friends and work. I was spending roughly £800 to £900 on drugs a week. I was hiding from my family, staying out late, going out early, just to try and avoid people – thinking I was hiding my addiction well, which I clearly wasn’t. I was on the verge of getting kicked out of my parent’s house and losing my family for good.
Then one day I woke up and thought enough is enough. I went and woke my mum up and said “we need to go to Inspire and I need you to come with me or I won’t go”. We went and it was like God was looking down on me because they’d said normally it takes months to get referred but the next minute they came back in and said by complete chance, someone didn’t show up for the rehab appointment and so I was really lucky as a month later I was admitted to Littledale hall to complete my rehabilitation.
It all happened so quickly it didn’t give me time to register what I was doing, which was a good thing. Going to Littledale Hall is the best but hardest decision I’ve ever made and I spent six months there. It changed my perspective of life and gave me the correct tools to deal with my thoughts as well as how to deal with problems in life.
As my time at Littledale came to an end, I was given the chance of a place at the Adullam House to give me chance to think about what was next and to learn practical ways to get on my feet rather than needing to rush straight into important decisions straight away. I learned how to save and also how to communicate with the outside world properly, and Adullam gave me more tools to be where I am today. I went to Celebrate Recovery which is a 12 step programme, I went to church and began to mix with a completely different kind of community compared to when I was in addiction, which before I went to rehab or Adullam I had never stepped foot in a church.
After leaving Adullam, I moved back to live closer to my family and I am proud to say I am now nearly 5 years clean off substances. I work repairing domestic appliances, I got married in 2022 and have a step-son and a beautiful little girl. My next aim is that in 2024 we will have a holiday abroad as a family which we are saving up for at the moment. My life is completely different to 5 years ago and I owe it all to Littledale hall and the Adullam House.
This is my story of recovery from addiction, thanks for reading. Richard